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  • Kacen Callender

WIP: A Writer's Self-Love

Hey loves! I’ve been sidetracked with edits and the move back to St. Thomas, so I haven’t done a blog post in a while, and I’ll probably be on hiatus for another month or so—but I wanted to drop in with a quick post about how self-love helped me grow as a writer.


I can say I love myself, but I realized I needed to do more than just say the words, though repeating the phrase again and again also helps me on my self-love journey. I needed to actually feel the emotion of love for myself, in the way that I feel that emotion of love for others. I had to sit and meditate and practice loving myself unconditionally, no matter what mistakes I have made, no matter how others feel about me, before I could begin to really love myself in a way that I have not before. I love myself.


This started to help me discover a well of limitless, infinite love. I’ve come to the realization that I—my soul—loves me unconditionally in a way that I doubt any human on Earth would ever be able to love me. This love is overwhelming, powerful, something that I can sit in and feel wrap around me protectively. It’s a love that I’m not even sure I can fully comprehend while in this human form.


And when I can feel the confidence of that unconditional, unchanging love, it starts to flood into all other aspects of my life, too. I don’t need to impress the people I’d once wanted to impress. I don’t need relationships with people who don’t meet my needs. My energy and my time is precious, because I am precious. I'm already loved so much. What more could I possibly need?


When I don’t feel the need to impress others, the goal stops becoming that I want the appreciation of readers. My soul already has so much love and appreciation for me that it doesn’t matter how people react to my stories and my words. Thinking externally, about how others will react, creates a cloud, a block of creativity, making it difficult to find that joy while writing. Self-love helps to heal the fear of how others will react in all aspects of my life, including writing, because I am worthy and already am loved so unconditionally. In the end this helps me find my path to the stories I’m meant to tell.


I don’t think that writing is the reason I’m alive, but I do think that it’s a tool of my ultimate purpose, why I’m here on this earth. And when I can feel that writing is a tool of my purpose, I feel more confidence in the stories I want to tell with excitement and joy and love. Excitement, joy, and love are guiding compasses, and any story that puts me into a flow state, feels meditative as I write and helps me feel at one with my soul, must be a story that I was meant to tell. It isn’t a coincidence that so many doors open for me because of my writing, that so many books have been published, allowing me to live a life that focuses on writing more and more. This helps me to fulfill my purpose, so it’s inevitable that I will succeed, as long as I continue to write the stories that I love.


I believe that the same is available to any writer, and I truly believe that focusing on ourselves and our self-love, getting away from the noise of what others think or don’t think, how others react or don’t react, allows us to have more responsibility for ourselves, our actions, and the stories that we were truly meant to write—that our souls want us to write, that helps us feel that energy called life. Writing the stories that help me feel that expansion of my soul, a feeling of total freedom and fulfillment, brought to me by the love I have for myself: that's my current goal.

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